


Instinctively

by Chr1stie



Category: Buzz (Korea Band), 아는 형님 | Knowing Bros | Ask Us Anything
Genre: Heechul hides his feelings, Kyunghoon realizes he's gay lol, Kyunghoon spaces out a lot, M/M, Solbi gets dumped :(, a bit of angst kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 19:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15177263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chr1stie/pseuds/Chr1stie
Summary: "Was that kiss sincere?" Heechul said to Kyunghoon."It was an impulse! Instinct! It's just the way our shoulders are brushing against each other, the feeling of the edge of your hand on my thigh! I just-""You should follow your instincts more often."





	Instinctively

**Author's Note:**

> I love this pair sooo....yeah. Solbi's real name is Ji-ahn which Kyunghoon calls her by in his speech, but otherwise I refer to her as Solbi. Oh and the text in italics is their thoughts lol.

"Kyunghoon-ah, snap out of it!" 

Kyunghoon turned his head suddenly in response.  
"Ah, sorry Ji-ahn...."

"You haven't been making any moves on me lately, just saying....." 

That is definitely an understatement. Kyunghoon didn't know why he wasn't motivated by his girlfriend, Ji-ahn or Solbi. He didn't know if it was the significant amount of time he spends nowadays with Heechul or....whatever other reason there was. He didn't know. Well, there was only one explanation but he still wasn't convinced that was the case. Not really. 

Kyunghoon thought more to himself. Everything was confusing at the moment. With his increasing proposals to participate in more variety shows to the fact that his concert productions with his band are getting bigger. There's too much to deal with at once. He wasn't used to this much attention. At least not in a long time. Love is most definitely not getting in the way, not with the way his life is happening at the moment. 

Solbi was confused as well. Kyunghoon had been flirty throughout the time where they were on variety together. It could've just been a lie. Her rash decision made her wonder if dating him was the right choice. After all, he had confessed first. 

_Here he goes again._ She thought.  
"What's with you nowadays?!

"Huh? Oh, sorry." 

"I think that's the hundredth time this week.." Solbi said in annoyed tone. "At first I was worried, but now it's really getting on my nerves." 

Kyunghoon looked at his own hands in response, intertwined like a tangled necklace. He couldn't seem to take them apart if he tried; not like he wanted to anyway. 

"Do you even love me?" Solbi blurted out what she'd been holding back the entire week. 

Kyunghoon's eyes darted back to hers in response, his ears turning a shade of red; one shade lighter than her lips. He didn't know how to respond, let alone know the answer to that question himself.

"I-I, of course I do!" Kyunghoon tried to reassure her as he saw her tears about to flow.  
"You know I love you right? I really do Ji-ahn. It's just been a tough week, alright?" 

"Sure. Alright. I get it now. Judging by your response, someone else is on your mind." Solbi said suddenly in a stern voice.

_It's the truth._

Kyunghoon almost said.

"What, I'm not allowed to be tired and stressed? Can you maybe, I don't know, mind your own business for once?!" Kyunghoon blurted out instead. 

Solbi scoffed in denial. "You're the one that confessed, asshole. You should really be more considerate of your girlfriend."

Kyunghoon knows how he's been acting strangely this entire week. His emotions always get the best of him, it's hard when dealing with so many things at once. 

"You little kid, gosh! I never should've attempted dating someone the same age as me but acts about 10 years younger!" 

Kyunghoon put his head down.

No one said anything. The only thing heard was Solbi's muffled sniffles. 

Many things raced through both their minds. Solbi felt betrayed and felt only regret from dating this naive kid. While Kyunghoon wanted out of this mess and feel only one emotion at a time, whenever his emotions erupted all at once, he'd always feel slumped and upset.

**Ding ding**

As if on cue, Kyunghoon suddenly got a text. He looked at Solbi, then back at his phone. 

Solbi scoffed.

**Heechul: Ssamja! I have that game we talked about earlier, you should come over soon~**

Kyunghoon mentally thanked Heechul for saving him from this overwhelming situation. He always feels touched after the popular idol ends up contacting him. Not like any other person would anyway. 

"Let me guess. You have to leave now?" said Solbi.

"Uh, you should probably leave. You're in my house so I can't just, you know leave and have you, um, here." Kyunghoon said.

Solbi was in disbelief. He was being such a jerk to her. She loves him, but the way he was acting really put her off. 

"I'm sorry Ji-ahn, I just...I don't even know what's wrong with me. I should take responsibility for your happiness. I'll make it up to you tomorrow?" 

"I'll be counting on you" she said as she went through the door to leave. 

"I'll miss you..." Kyunghoon said. 

"Sure you will." 

\------

As Solbi walked out she wondered what to think of his actions. She put on her overcoat and put her hands in her pocket. Solbi mentally cussed. She couldn't help but feel the need to protect and spoil the man. 

"What to do..." she said aloud. 

She thought maybe she was the one being inconsiderate. Maybe she should have asked what was wrong with him. Maybe tomorrow. 

She sighed to herself and hoped tomorrow would be a great day for them. 

Solbi got onto the train to go home. It didn't usually take long to get back to her house, they lived pretty close so it was convenient. 

She sat down on a seat and put her earbuds on along with a mask, in case people recognize her. Solbi proceeded to click on shuffle for the music on her phone. 

Closing her eyes she heard the familiar piano at the beginning accompanied seconds later with her boyfriend's mournful voice. 

_How fitting._ She thought to herself. 

The music was going pretty quietly despite her volume halfway. It was strange. Opening one of her eyes, many other pairs stared directly back. Now both were open. 

The man beside her, covered with a beanie and a mask, looked at Solbi and then smirked behind the black cloth.

"Your headphones aren't fully plugged in...everyone can hear what you're listening to. Just saying." The man said quietly.

Solbi's face turned red and her hands trembled as she struggled to plug in the damned headphones properly. She heard chuckling beside her and gave the man an embarrassed smile. 

It's all going wrong today, isn't it? She thought to herself. 

The headphones couldn't seem to go into the headphone jack. She quietly cussed and ended up giving up on listening to music. Kyunghoon was giving her bad luck. Probably. She put her phone away along with those stupid headphones, then closed her eyes once more. She just needed peace at this point. 

"So you're a fan of Buzz I'm guessing?" The man beside her said. 

Solbi looked back at him in annoyance. She decided he was the not-able-to-read-the-situation type of guy. 

"Um, well yeah. I guess you could say that." 

"I'm not judging or anything, I really love them too! What do you think of them?" the man said.

Solbi was getting annoyed at this point. Who taught this guy manners? She thought. Solbi didn't want to risk getting recognized so she kept the responses to a minimum. 

"Yeah, I like their music a lot. I never get tired of their songs." 

She closed her eyes once more, trying to signal her strong want to relax. Why would some guy be trying to ask her about her opinion on Buzz anyway? She remembered how they're getting more popular again. Right, my childish boyfriend is a celebrity... she thought. 

Yet once again she heard him speak. 

"I feel the same way!" He said again in a loud whisper. 

She was annoyed. Solbi looked at him straight in the eyes in attempt to get him to read the situation. She then noticed his facial features on closer inspection. 

"Kim Heechul-ssi?" she almost exclaimed.

"Took you long enough to notice, Solbi-ah" 

Solbi didn't know how to feel really. One celebrity after another it seems. She didn't want to be rude, so she asked him how he was. 

"Um, so, how are you?"

"Doing alright I guess? How's Kyunghoonie?" He responded with a question. 

Heechul knew of their relationship. He thought they were a good match for one another. He was happy for Kyunghoon. He had to admit, he was jealous. Not in the person type of way, the having a girlfriend in general type of jealous. Definitely not of being able to spend more time with Kyunghoon. 

Probably. Most likely. Possibly. Maybe. 

Now, to find a significant other of his own. 

Solbi then sighs and thought to herself  
_Yep, definitely the not-able-to-read-the-situation type of guy._

"He's just being Kyunghoon, the usual. It's pretty alright I guess." she said. 

"That's good to hear. Speaking of him, I just got the game we both wanted to play. If you don't mind, he'll be in my care for a while. He texted me a while ago that he'd be coming over. I didn't disturb you two, did I?" he ignorantly said.

Solbi rolled her eyes. Of course Kyunghoon blew her off for Heechul. They should be the ones dating at this point. At the attempt to socialize with the star, Solbi got even more annoyed than she already was. Good to know that her boyfriend likes to be with other men late at night. She doesn't even want to give him another chance tomorrow. 

"Solbi?" Heechul said. 

"Huh? Oh, not at all. I needed to get going anyway, I hope you two have fun." Solbi tried to sound sincere, and it apparently worked as the man smiled back at her.

"Well, this is my stop. Nice talking to you" Heechul said as he stepped out of the train. 

"Shit." Solbi said.

"I missed my damn stop." 

\-------

Kyunghoon anxiously waited until Heechul picked up the phone. He was deprived of the happiness of being with him. An oasis. That's what Heechul was. He kept Kyunghoon's emotions in check all the time. His constant comforting nature towards Kyunghoon all the time made Kyunghoon feel sort of bad. Once again he yearned for the comfort and happiness Heechul gave to him. 

"Hyung?"

"Hey Kyunghoonie" 

"Are you home now? Can I come over?"

"Haha why so urgent? Actually don't respond, I know you're deprived of Kim Heechul's presence." 

"Pfft. Maybe so."

Kyunghoon loved it when he boasted about himself. It kind of gave him more confidence. Like how watching people yawn makes a person yawn as well, Heechul was sort of the same to Kyunghoon. Kyunghoon knew he really shouldn't be this happy about his girlfriend leaving the premises, but it couldn't be helped. How could he resist an invitation to the man's house? 

"You can come over now by the way. Oh and you can sleep over if you want. Its pretty late after all. Not gonna force you though hehe" 

"Alright alright, I'll be over in a bit. See you" 

"See you" 

Kyunghoon could've sworn a wave of heat flashed over him when Heechul talked about sleeping over. 

_Hah. Hah. Blushing when another man asks for a sleepover......_ He thought to himself 

Quickly putting a gray cardigan over his plain white shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror. 

"Should I change my pants....or.." Kyunghoon said aloud.

After changing through 3 pairs of pants, he finally decided on wearing the original black fitted jeans he had on originally. Confused about his own thoughts to change unreasonably, he decided he looked presentable despite his slightly messy brown hair. He looked at the time. He was going to get there later than he thought. 

Setting foot outside his house, he instantly regretted not wearing something over his cardigan. He shrugged off the cold and waited for the late train to come. 

He went inside and sat down on one of the seats. Barely anyone was there. He decided it was a good thing. 

_No one to recognize me. No hiding involved. Good. He thought._

After almost falling asleep on the ride that proceeded slowly, Kyunghoon's impatience grew. He was also pretty nervous to go. 

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

The robotic voice spoke for the train stop and he realized it was time to get off. Almost tripping, Kyunghoon made his way out of the train doors. He walked towards Heechul's place and quietly knocked on the door. 

8 seconds and counting was way too long to answer a door. Kyunghoon knocked once more, harder this time and mentally decided to wait 10 seconds this time around.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven-" 

Heechul opened the door with wet hair and a revealing robe. Kyunghoon audibly gulped. 

"Oops. Sorry Kyungie, I miscalculated how long it would take to shower. Don't mind me! Come in though and- hey why do you look like that right now?" 

Kyunghoon did not know how to not mind him. It was one breathtaking sight Kyunghoon couldn't help but admit. 

"Um, sorry I just never saw you like this before" 

Heechul blushed and looked at Kyunghoon in wonder. Heechul was pretty comfortable with most people but he realized not everyone, especially Kyunghoon, is like that.

"Ah, sorry Kyungie. Come in." 

"Don't apologize hyung, it's not a bad sight per say..." 

"Pfft. What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing....It's a compliment" Kyunghoon says back as he enters his house.

But it definitely meant something. 

As kyunghoon enters and sees the familiar red furniture, he smiles to himself. 

"I missed this place" 

"You were here the day before yesterday Kyunghoon-ah!" 

"Oh right. Hah.." 

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

"I'll be right back, make yourself at home!" Heechul said as he ran off to his bathroom. 

Kyunghoon sighs as he flops down on Heechul's red couch. Lost in his thoughts, Kyunghoon recalls everything that happened with Solbi. Their relationship has lasted for around 2 and a half months and things were already going badly. He wants to break up but Kyunghoon is the one that confessed, he'd seem like the bad guy. 

"Kyunghoonie" 

Kyunghoon jumped and let out a little yelp after Heechul got back. He still looked stunning. His hair still slightly wet along with sweatpants and an almost see through white shirt that clung to his damp skin. 

"Oof. Hi again hyung. I was just thinking"

"Thinking about what?" 

"How all your stuff is red, including your couch. Makes me wonder how if you could easily stab someone here and if they bled, no one would actually notice." 

"Bahahahah, wouldn't you like to know?" Heechul said in disbelief. 

"Excuse me, hyung I'm not a murderer" 

"Well if these are the kinds of things you think about all the time, I can't be so sure." 

Kyunghoon cutely pouted. Well, in Heechul's opinion. _Actually, whoever thinks it isn't cute when he does that is potentially insane._ Heechul thought. 

"I love it when you do that" 

"Do what?" 

"Nothing, nothing. Anyway, I have the game so let's get to it already! I'm dying of impatience!" Heechul said.

"Oh, right!" 

\--------

They sat down together and played the game. Time flew by quickly, as it usually did with Heechul in Kyunghoon's case. 

"Hyung, what time is it???" 

"Oh boy. 12:40 already" 

"Darn. Well it was really fun regardless of all that time spent" 

"Yeah it sure was. By the way, you're sleeping over right? I mean, the last train already left" Heechul said.

"I guess so, if, you know, it's fine with you" 

"Yeah. I live alone anyway...." 

"...."

"...."

Suddenly a pair of arms caged Kyunghoon against the back of the couch. Heechul looked straight into Kyunghoon's eyes. Heechul mentally asked himself why in the world he was doing this. 

_He has a girlfriend._

"Uh? What are you d-doing?" 

"I-I don't know. Ask my body...." 

There was nothing else to be said. Not verbally at least. 

Kyunghoon was the type of guy to try and conceal his feelings until it all erupted, he wasn't necessarily good at hiding them though. Heechul was a centimeter away from his own face. Kyunghoon, afraid of his own feelings, attempted backing away and shut his eyes in fear for a few seconds in shock. He counted to 5. 

One, two, three, four, five...

Opening one eye at a time, Kyunghoon saw Heechul retreat and sit back down beside Kyunghoon on the red couch, too close for his own liking. 

"I'm sorry about that Kyunghoon-ah..." Heechul said apologetically as he put his hand comfortably on Kyunghoon's thigh. 

Kyunghoon opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, unknowing what to say. He looked at Heechul. 

_Beautiful._

Heechul looked at Kyunghoon with regretful eyes.  
_He has a girlfriend._

Letting his own body move, Kyunghoon suddenly felt a wave of affection and want for Heechul's caring nature. He put his face closer to Heechul and they locked lips carefully. At first gently, then stronger. Both their minds raced back and forth. 

_Was this okay?  
Why am I doing this? _

_Why does it feel so right?_

They deepened the kiss until all they felt was each other. Heechul and only Heechul.  
Kyunghoon and only Kyunghoon. 

What would become of them? What would they do right after the kiss? What about Solbi? 

As the kiss proceeded, the worries began to fade away. Kyunghoon's emotions stabilized and nothing else mattered. Not right now anyway. 

Heechul pulled Kyunghoon closer and stuck one of his arms around the other man's waist. Kyunghoon wrapped his arm around Heechul's neck and brought him even closer. If that was possible. 

Kyunghoon started to lose breath and separated the kiss for only a quarter of a second. To him, it felt way longer than it should have. He let out a measly whine as Heechul stroked Kyunghoon's side seductively. 

The closer they got, the more Kyunghoon felt the wrongness of the situation. He quickly pulled away and looked at Heechul with regretful eyes. 

"Was that kiss sincere?" Heechul said to Kyunghoon.

"It was an impulse! Instinct! It's just the way our shoulders are brushing against each other, the feeling of the edge of your hand on my thigh! I just-" 

"You should follow your instincts more often." 

After Heechul blurted that out, they both looked at each other in shock. Heechul was surpised at his own speech. Kyunghoon wanted to leave at that very moment. His emotions and worries overcame him yet again. The last train already left, dammit. Why did he do that? Why did it feel so right? 

"Hyung, I think I-" 

\----------

"Wake up already!" 

Kyunghoon faintly heard Heechul's voice in the background. 

"Wha!?" 

Kyunghoon looked up, surpised to see the familiar living room they had just been in....but what just happened? 

"We fell asleep playing that game last night, idiot. And why do you look so distraught?" Heechul said.

It was a dream. A fucking dream. Kyunghoon didn't know if he was happy, sad, worried or all of the above. 

"Hey, hyung?" Kyunghoon said, looking at Heechul seriously.

"Huh? What is it?" 

"You know about Ji-ahn.....right?" 

"Solbi? Yeah of course. I actually ran into her on my way home" 

Oh no. Kyunghoon thought. If he had seen Solbi, and maybe even talked to her....he'd be screwed. All these thoughts; nervousness, confusion, happiness, begun to overcome Kyunghoon again. He doesn't like this. Not one bit. Kyunghoon looked down to the floor and started to breathe heavily. He'd come here for a break, for happiness, why did Kyunghoon even decide to bring her up? 

Heechul looked at Kyunghoon worriedly. What was wrong with him? Heechul thought. He wondered if something had gone wrong with their relationship. Maybe he could help Kyunghoon and spend more time with him. Maybe. Heechul curses at his selfish mindset. 

_He has a girlfriend._

Heechul decides it's the right time to snap Kyunghoon out of his trance. 

"Hey, Kyungie? Are you okay?" 

Kyunghoon snaps his head back up quickly, almost falling backwards. 

"Huh?! Yeah, I'm fine....What did you and Solbi talk about?" 

"Oh, nothing much really." 

Thank God. Kyunghoon thought in relief. 

"I just told her you were coming over, she seemed okay with it" said Heechul.

 _Oh God._  
Will she forgive me?  
Why do I even care if she knows I ended up going to Heechul's house?  
Kyunghoon's thoughts shifted. 

"Did you have a bad dream Kyunghoon? What's wrong?" 

_A bad dream. Hah._ Kyunghoon thought. 

"Ah... I wouldn't say it was bad..." 

"You can tell me Kyungie... I'm always here for you" Heechul said affectionately. 

Kyunghoon felt warm after he said that. He wondered if he'd actually still be there for him if Kyunghoon ended up confessing his love for the idol. 

Debating on what to say to Heechul, Kyunghoon tried to form words without any prevail. 

"I, erm, um..... haven't been motivated to be affectionate to my girlfriend." 

"That's not good....?" Heechul said in response. 

"I've just been getting her upset by being uninterested... I'm not too happy right now. It's pretty bad, we got into a fight yesterday because of me. Though I told her I'd make it up to her today." Kyunghoon said quietly.

Wow. Heechul thought to himself. What was this supposed to mean?  
"I'm sorry to hear that..... If this relationship is straining both of you, it might be a good idea to let it go before you get too deep into the mess.......Kyunghoon-ah??!" 

Heechul saw him tearing up and sniffling. Kyunghoon took one arm and wiped his tears out of his face. Heechul's heart hurt. At this moment he wanted to shower the man in nothing else but his own love and affection. 

"S-sorry hyung, I'm just really confused at the moment" 

"No! No! Don't apologize! I'm here for you, don't cry..." Heechul sat down beside the man and went in for an embrace. 

As Kyunghoon felt the man's arms gently wrap around him, he was quickly reminded of the events that occured in his dreams and quickly pulled away. 

"S-stop it, hyung! You're making things worse!" 

Heechul, in confusion, immediately pulled back.  
"Huh? What did I do?" 

"You didn't do anything! You yourself is just making this worse! You need to stop being nice to me.....please....." 

Heechul was in shock. What did this have to do with Kyunghoon and his girlfriend?  
"Kyunghoon....why?"

"You wouldn't understand! You're not like me!" 

".....So what?! I care for you!" 

"You really don't get it!?" Kyunghoon said in anger, desperately trying to convey his feelings.

"I don't get it at all! So tell me! Please!" Heechul continued.

Kyunghoon looked down at his hands. He didn't want to say it. Not wanting to destroy their friendship, he paused and said nothing. 

"....."

"....."

"Hyung, I think I have to get going now. I promised Ji-ahn that I would make it up to her today." Kyunghoon said after a long silence.

"Alright, Kyunghoon-ah, I'll see you at shooting tonight" Heechul said in confusion, not wanting to mention Kyunghoon's burst of anger.

"Bye"

"Bye" 

\-------

"When is that jerk coming here?!" Solbi said as she checked the time on her phone while sitting down in a café.  
"Geez...he's lucky I agreed to this.." 

Kyunghoon made his way to the café.  
I will tell her. I will tell her. He thought to himself. 

"Ji-ahn!"

"Oh, it's the man himself. Finally" Solbi said in disappointment. "And why do you look so messed up?" 

"Huh? I do?.....sorry." 

"How do your parents let you out like this?"

He had been in Heechul's house. 

"Um, what do you want to order?" Kyunghoon said in attempt to change the subject. 

"Coffee. Double double." 

"Um okay, I'll have the same then. Be right back!" 

As Kyunghoon left to get their orders, Solbi sat down in silence. Not wanting another embarrassing incident to happen, she disregarded listening to music. She wondered if it'll actually all work out despite her boyfriend's obvious disinterest in her. 

"Here you go." Kyunghoon said.

"Ah, thank you." Solbi said back

Kyunghoon, suddenly feeling the tension, decided to ask her about yesterday as it really shouldn't be avoided. 

"Um, I have something to ask you" 

"What is it, Kyunghoon?"

"Errr...about yesterday....I, uh-"

"Whatever! I don't want to hear it! Let's just move on from it and be happy alright?" Solbi said, in want to return to the feeling of when they first decided to date. That thrilling, exciting and warm feeling. She wanted nothing more and assumed Kyunghoon felt the same way. He did say he would make it up to her. 

"O-oh, really? So you don't mind about Heechul?" Kyunghoon responded, then instantly regretted bring Heechul into the picture. "I, I mean-" 

"It's fine. Heechul's a guy after all. I'm not worried for you of all people to spend more time with a man than your own girlfriend. Were you worried about how I'd react or something?" 

"Oh....that's a relief...haha"  
But it wasn't. Definitely not. He'd been hoping she caught on to the way he acted towards her. "Don't you think we should talk this out though? I mean, instead of putting the problem off?" 

"What problem? Didn't you say you'd make it up to me today? Well, I don't like the way you're acting." 

"I'm sorry okay! I just don't think this relationship is working out! We've both been so upset this past week.....and this relationship is mentally draining us..." Kyunghoon trailed off. 

"But I'm in love with you!" Solbi said desperately. 

"That's not my fault!" 

"What the hell did you say?" Solbi continued. "You think you can just go around playing with girls' feelings, making them fall in love with you, then dumping them?! You're the one not trying to adapt to me! The past 2 months and now I've been trying to tend to you.....Maybe you should realize how spoiled you're acting..." 

"Look, Ji-ahn..." Kyunghoon carefully said. "The more time I spend with, um, other people.....the more I realize we aren't right for each other." 

"......who else are you spending time with?" 

"H-heechul hyung..." 

"What?" Solbi asked in confusion 

"....."

"....."

"I don't get it" Solbi said.

"Hah....of course you don't...." Kyunghoon said with tears forming in his eyes. 

Of course she didn't understand. His own parents probably wouldn't either. Feeling more emotional, Kyunghoon could barely hold back his falling tears. That dream he had, he wished it weren't one. He himself didn't know what he was saying. His mind was a mixture of confusion of his own feelings and sexual preferences. It wasn't like he could control his feelings. He couldn't help feeling this way anyway. It's not like he wanted this for himself.  
He would be alone in this fight. 

"Oh.., Kyunghoon-ah why are you crying?" Solbi asked in sudden worry. 

Trying to hold his tears back, Kyunghoon couldn't speak properly. "Y-you......don't g-get it.." 

"Then tell me!" 

_Oh god._

"I think.....I'm gay..." Kyunghoon let out a whisper. 

"....are you sure?" Solbi asked. "I-I mean, it would make sense......with how you were acting these past few days...." she continued, flustered on what to say.

"I thought about it... and I think it's what's going on with me. You're the first person I've told." 

"O-oh... I guess it can't be helped then..." Solbi said as she looked away from Kyunghoon, trying to hide her sadness. "I really hope you become happy, Kyunghoon. I'll, uh, be rooting for you then..." 

"N-no, I'm sorry I-I just I want you to be happy too" Kyunghoon tried to reassure her and grabbed her hands. 

"....but how can I be happy when the person I love is gay?"  
Solbi said. 

"I-I.....don't know. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." 

_Why did this have to happen?_ Solbi thought.  
Why was she blessed with a boyfriend she loved that ended up gay? It wasn't fair. She wished it ended up differently. With the amount of tension in the room she didn't know what to say or do. Could it have ended differently? If she had done something.....would this relationship have a happy ending? 

It can't be helped. 

"I understand, Kyunghoon. I'd better leave now before I get more attached to you...haha. Best of luck to your future relationships...." she said as she was leaving the café. Solbi turned to smile at Kyunghoon, then left. She then decided to properly reconcile after he filmed Knowing Bros. She knew the time. Obviously. She just couldn't do it at the moment with the amount of emotions she was feeling. 

Kyunghoon was speechless and in shock. What was he going to do now? Heechul might not even like him in that way. 

"Fuck." Kyunghoon said as he stared down the two coffee cups that both lay stagnant, unmoving on the tabletop. 

\------------

"Kyunghoon-ah, what's wrong? It's time to start filming." Soogeun said. 

"Oh, sorry. Be there in a second" Kyunghoon replied.

As Kyunghoon entered, he anxioisly waited for Heechul.  
_Where is he? Where is he?_

Kyunghoon nervously sat down in his spot and tried to remain the character that he portrayed on the show. Tried to. On the other hand, he was relieved to see Heechul's charming smile despite what happened earlier this morning. 

"Finally, shooting's done!" Seo Janghoon called out. 

"Gosh! Why are you so happy when filming's done these days?" Hodong continued. "You should be sad that spending time with us is done!" 

Before anyone could respond, Kyunghoon hurredly rushed out of the set and into his waiting room. 

"I'll be going now, bye" Kyunghoon said as he left.

Everyone else looked at each other in confusion. Everyone else except Heechul, who looked at the rest of the hyungs with reassuring eyes, then followed Kyunghoon. 

Kyunghoon sat down on the singular worn out couch there was in the room. He decided it needed replacing as every time he'd sit on it, it would be on the exact same place; which ended up making it sink more than it should when he sat down. But that didn't really matter right now. Kyunghoon thought of Heechul. He was definitely still flustered from the whole not-being-able-to-continue-the-relationship-with-Solbi situation. 

He sighs and droops his head further into his hands. He then suddenly hears 3 knocks from the door. 

"Yeah yeah you can come in Soogeun." Kyunghoon said, assuming it was him. 

"Hey Kyungie, it's me. Can I come in?" Heechul said. 

He became flustered at the familiar voice. Though he had just heard it during filming, it seemed different now that there were no cameras to see what was going on. It was resonant, yet calming and seductive all at the same time. 

Tangled in his thoughts again, Kyunghoon suddenly snapped back to reality when Heechul called his name out affectionately yet again. 

"Kyunghoonie?" 

"Ah, yes, sorry! Come in!" Kyunghoon said hurriedly.

Heechul opened the door then looked at Kyunghoon. He was obviously able to tell something was wrong with the way his lips pouted and his tired looking eyes. 

"Seriously, tell me what's wrong. I hate seeing you like this" Heechul trailed off. "...even though it is pretty adorable." 

Kyunghoon looked up at Heechul and gave a small grin accompanied with dimples, which rewarded him with Heechul's heartstrings being tugged at. 

"Hyung, listen... You know how I was acting really weird this morning...?"

Heechul looked confused. "Yes? I was pretty worried..." 

"Well it's because of a dream I had before waking up...I-" 

"I knew it! Don't worry about it, whatever terrible thing it was, okay...?" Heechul said in a similar manner to speaking to a child.

"N-no! That's not it.....I had a dream...about kissing you and I, uh,...no, we were both enjoying it.....in the dream.... Then I broke up with Ji-ahn this morning..." Kyunghoon said. 

"......did I hear that right?" Heechul said. 

"I hope so. I, um, also think I'm gay........and like you" Kyunghoon said, the last three words in a whisper. 

Heechul let out an exasperated breath. 

Kyunghoon let his tear filled eyes drift to the floor. 

They both looked at each other. 

"You don't know how much I've been holding back." Heechul suddenly said. 

"You w-what?" Kyunghoon said in shock. 

Without any words Heechul came closer to Kyunghoon and held him in an embrace. 

"Don't cry. I'm here for you now." Heechul said.

Kyunghoon tightly wrapped his arms around the other man and dug his face in his shoulder, then looked towards the door, still left open. His eyes widened. 

Solbi was there, looking at them. 

She gave a sad smile. Solbi was conflicted. Jealousy, happiness and sadness came rushing to her all at once. Kyunghoon looked at her with worry filled eyes. Regretful. Sympathizing.

Still hugging Heechul, he mouthed an "I'm sorry". She shook her head in response and gave him a thumbs up along with a reassuring smile, then left. As she left, she quietly shut the door almost completely, leaving a centimetre unclosed. 

As Solbi began to walk away, a gentle stream of tears ran down her face; ones she had been holding back. She was devasted but also grateful for him building up thr courage to tell her instead of dragging on the relationship. 

Thoughts ran through Solbi's head, trying to comfort herself and continue making her emotional at the same time.  
_It's okay. It's okay._  
He's happy. That's what I care about.  
I miss him already.

In the waiting room, the long hug they shared finally finished. Heechul didn't seem to notice Solbi's presence, which Kyunghoon was thankful for. 

"Is this really okay, hyung?" Kyunghoon said.

"Most definitely." Heechul said in response.

They looked at each other with affection, not knowing how to hold back both their yearning feelings for one another. They sat beside each other on the worn out couch, thighs pressed against each other, shoulders just barely brushing. Kyunghoon gulped. 

Kyunghoon brought their faces closer and initiated the kiss. Their lips carefully touched. The gentle feeling quickly turned into fierce and with the strong feeling of want. It felt good. Kyunghoon's dreams became reality. It would all be okay. They have each other, which is what mattered. 

Kyunghoon wrapped one arm around Heechul's side, the other supporting himself with the back of the couch against the brute force of the kiss.

The kiss grew deeper and they somehow ended on top of one another, fighting for dominance. Their hands let their school uniforms become distraught, non-tucked in shirts with the buttons a little too undone. Stroking one another's bodies and slowly letting the kisses drift further down, let them indulge in this pleasure further. 

The feeling grew too intense and Kyunghoon tumbled off of the couch and onto the floor. He looked messed up, but in the hot-messed-up kinda way. 

"You look good on the floor like that" Heechul teased. 

"Pfft. Hey! What's that supposed to mean." Kyunghoon responded. 

"I'm simply enjoying looking at the piece of art I helped create, Kyunghoonie" 

"I think I did a better job on you, hyung" 

They bursted in laughter and Kyunghoon finally got up from the floor. 

"Can we do this more often?" Kyunghoon asked, implying for them to be something more. 

"I'd like that" Heechul smiled back.

They sat beside together on the couch once more. 

"Was that kiss sincere?" Heechul asked randomly

Kyunghoon remembered the idiotic things he had said in his own dream and chuckled to himself. 

"Of course it was"

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it was a little messy, hope you enjoyed it anyway! :D (who am i kidding this is trash) Also, leave kudos please! I'd appreciate it :) Oh, and leave a comment too woooo


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